How much does my past and the things that happened to me affect my parenting? Well, for starters- I trust NO ONE! I am suspect of everyone, and that isn't fair to them. I am very protective , and scared of what could happen to my children. I don't want them to go through the same things that I did, and I tend to freak out about things that maybe I shouldn't. For instance: nakedness in my house is a no- no, and my children love to just streak through the house. I especially don't want my little girl to see her brother's naked, or them to see her. But the more I push, the more they want to be naked, and they don't understand why. It is a fear of mine. It is maybe a bit irrational, but for me, I am desperately trying to protect them from harm. I am trying to teach them the sacredness of their bodies, and privacy, yet I feel like a Nazi when trying to enforce it. I fear that if they can't follow simple instructions, it will lead to them getting hurt. I Am a bit of a control freak, although I am REALLY working on that.
My past has led me to be the parent that I am- with all the fear and control that comes with it. I tend to see these things as flaws, however, I also see the good. I think it is important in my posts here, to express the good that has come out of my horrifying experiences. I love my children, and have taught them from the very beginning the correct terminology of their parts. I have also taught them that NO ONE gets to touch them in anyway- if they say no. My little girl has come to say "Jesus doesn't want you to touch us." to daddy when she doesn't want to be tickled. No hugs are forced, and it is important to me to help my children know that they are in charge of their bodies. I have an open communication with them, and I am learning how to talk to them so that if anything were ever to come up, they would know that I am here, and I will always listen. They know that I will protect them.
I am by no means perfect, and often times my emotional abuse that I suffered as a child comes back to haunt me and I get upset and say things. But I am human and I make mistakes. The difference for me is that I repent, and improve. This life is a trial, and we have choices to make: either we learn from our mistakes, or we repeat them. I'd like to think that I am a bit smarter than the guy that repeats mistakes over and over and over again.
No comments:
Post a Comment